Final post

I wanted to add one last final post to this blog before “disappearing forever”. I just worry that new people that may stumble across my blog may wonder why I don’t keep up with it anymore if they haven’t read certain posts……sadly, this is one of those infertility blogs that has ended in divorce…..so we are no longer on the infertility journey together.

I’ve enjoyed following each and everyone of your blogs, and I’ve made some real connections with a lot of people. I wish you all the best and hope and pray that each and everyone of you gets your happy ending.

It’s so unfair that ANYONE should ever have to experience infertility, but the fact of the matter is that they do….it does happen, and chances are if you’re not experiencing it yourself you know of someone who is….or maybe they’re suffering in silence.

Methotrexate for ectopic pregnancy — my experience

I know I’ve been updating you throughout my ectopic pregnancy but I’ve decided to write a summary blog post about my methotrexate experience as a reference for anyone who might be going through a similar experience now or in the future. When I was going through my ectopic I found a few blogs that were very helpful, so I wanted to share my experience too.

I found out on August 28th (12dpiui) that I was pregnant for the second time (my first pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy). Although my HCG was very low I was highly optimistic that I had a late implanter and that everything would be okay. Over the next two weeks I continued to have regular blood draws and my HCG was appropriately doubling every 48 hours, although when looking at Beta charts online my numbers still seemed low compared to most healthy pregnancies. I continued to be hopeful and excited for our baby.

End of the road

From my experiences tough times can either bring you together or break you apart, in terms of relationships. In addition to “normal marital problems” we’ve had some really tough times over the past 2 years including infertility treatments and miscarriages. My husband has now decided that he does not want children and wants out of our marriage. I’m not sure what has changed. I don’t know if the pain of our last miscarriage is just too much, or his feelings about me have changed. I guess I’ll never know because he refuses to open up to me, or anyone for that matter. He also refuses to go to couples counseling, he says we won’t get anything from it….and with that attitude he’s probably right.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have our own issues aside from infertility, but I think this journey was the straw that broke the camels back, or however that stupid saying goes.

How much did infertility cost us financially?

I’ve kept very detailed records from all of our doctor’s visits and prescription medications since we started the infertility testing, I’m a little OCD like that. While we didn’t end up having a viable pregnancy at the end of our journey I just wanted to give a “grand total” of just how much infertility ended up costing us *financially*. I think it might be helpful information to someone just starting out. The total cost was $33,783.29, and after insurance (which covered more than we anticipated) we ended up being out of pocket $10,964.83 (I stopped tracking costs after October, but I went on to have several more HCG tests until my number returned to 0 after my ectopic pregnancy). Infertility is NO JOKE emotional, physically and financially! We began working with our RE in September 2013 and ended our journey after our 5th IUI (that resulted in an ectopic pregnancy) in August 2014.

The neverending story

I had another blood draw this past Monday, THIRTEEN WEEKS after my first dose of methotrexate for my ectopic pregnancy….and the result was 8. My HCG is still 8, after all this time. My RE doesn’t seem concerned about it, and just asked that I retest in another 2 months, but JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!

what to say when someone loses a child

Wonderful blog post: “What to say when someone loses a child”

9 weeks post methotrexate

For the past few weeks I’ve been down to just once a week blood draws….last Monday my HCG was 20, and this Monday it was 21….which was a problem. My levels should be going down not staying the same, and definitely not going up. My RE scheduled another appointment with me this morning to discuss and do more testing.

He told me that sometimes in these cases your body can build up antibodies to the HCG and will show that you still have it in  your blood stream even when you really don’t. He said the way they can test this would be to do another HCG….and split the sample into 2 vials. Test 1 sample regularly, and test the other by adding equal parts water to dilute the sample by 50%…..if I still had HCG in my system the levels today should have been 20 & 10, but if it was just the antibodies my levels would be 20 & 20. Sounds confusing right?? Well it sure confused me too.

Extended break

Infertile couples are three times more likely to divorce. Pretty crazy statistic huh? Well, I definitely see how that could happen. Infertility has put such a strain on our marriage these past two years…we’ve been through so much with all of the ups & downs and highs & lows. We just need a break from it all.

At this point we’ve decided to take a 1 year hiatus from all things TTC/infertility.
We need to focus on our marriage and getting back to our “happy place”. The fortunate part is that I am only 28 years young, so my biological clock isn’t ticking too loudly just yet.

Update on Kristy

As of today Unfertile Mertyle has raised $14,465 for Kristy through her online fundraiser….which is just beyond incredible. Kristy has continued to post videos about her pregnancy and she seems to be in better spirits about the pregnancy. It’s her little piece of Royce, just such a miracle. Please continue to pray for Kristy and her baby….they’ve got a long hard road ahead of them.

If you haven’t donated yet, but would like to click on this link.

Infertility, why me?

One of the YouTube vloggers I follow, Kristy from ConceiveABaby, just suffered a horrible tragedy. She and her husband Royce had been TTC for nearly 5 years. They recently went through their first IVF cycle and were in their 2WW when Royce passed away suddenly in a car accident.

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DIY Minky Satin Trimmed Baby Blanket

I had been wanting to make my newest niece (born in June) a baby blanket for sometime now and have a girlfriend who is currently pregnant with her second baby boy…..so I decided to finally get started. Crafting really helps me keep my mind off of things, and keeps me busy.

There are so many cute choices on Etsy for similar blankets, but I just couldn’t find the exact fabric that I wanted….plus I really liked the idea of them being handmade (by me).

You’re really not saving any/much money or time by making it yourself (each of mine cost $20-25 for the materials, and took around 2 hours to make), but it is a fun/relatively easy project and will make a great gift! I found a great tutorial online which I followed step-by-step, except for the fabric choices. The tutorial was excellent, and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to make a blanket similar to the ones I made.